My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
