Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
