and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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