Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
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