I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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