the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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