Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
