Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
