I could make wine with my vomit
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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