I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Me too!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
