just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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