seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
