i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
