she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
