Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
