exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
