That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
