I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
