Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
