I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize