8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
