too bad you live with your parents still
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
