Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Randomize
