pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
