i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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