2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
