Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm both gender and math confused
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
