Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think I sprained my soul last night
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
