i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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