Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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