Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
