I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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