Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
