Swine flu. Run for my life!
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize