everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
