It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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