The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
