I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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