he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
one might say we're banned from that church
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize