Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize