So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
