Tell her she can't have a vagina
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
