And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
