cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
