May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
the raccoons are back...
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