Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize