she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
