his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
