you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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