Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize