So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize