grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
