God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize