I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
