that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
