would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
my shit smells like andre
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize