The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
