Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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