...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It's blow job season.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
