My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
