her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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