Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I want a musical about memes.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize