I just threw up on my dentist
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
