my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
