no, he came in my armpit
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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